D A Y 11
You and I have stories - mythologies - that ground us to what we know to be "truth;" the truth of who we are (supposed to be), the truth of what we love, hate, cherish, value, use. The longer we stay glued to those mythologies of what we "should be" and what we "should do," the more we stay stuck.
But what if there was some work we could do to break ground? Welcome in our spring, plant new seeds and play in the dirt?
What if there was the slightest possibility that we could fly above ground, and above our mythologies?
What if we could grow into something that even we could not imagine?
What if we could love even deeper?
And see into ourselves with such gentleness that the soil of our being regenerates itself with nutrients to create a whole new meaning?
A whole new story?
The stories I weave around my mind tend to highlight my imperfections. I feel either too much or not enough. I either overextend myself and exhaust my resources or I don’t do anything at all. Either way, I feel less-than, undeserving, disappointed (in myself) and tired. Either way, I feel uncomfortable being me.
I just had so much going on mentally that I wanted to take a break. I needed space and a healthy dose of detachment from my thoughts to settle into my body.
And I asked myself, "will the body follow the mind?" Can I create space in my mind so that I have enough room to breathe into my chest? my belly?
Changing the script and re-writing those stories feel uncomfortable. It’s like getting into a new shape. You might have an idea of what your body is capable of bending into but you really don’t have a clue unless you physically try. The uncertainty of how the new script will go feels scary. The anxiety of not knowing pumps up the body’s sympathetic nervous system. However, you really don’t know what you’re running away from or what you’re fighting against.
Then *yoga* happens.
Holding the imperfect script in your hands, you take a couple of intentional deep breaths. Then you let your mind follow the breath swimming through the lungs and expanding your chest and belly. And you let your body breathe naturally while guiding the mind to receive information coming from your muscles and joints; fingers and toes. The mind starts to align with the breath and body. You feel less in the future and more in the present. You ARRIVE.
Taking everything step by step. Moment by moment. Day by day. Week by week.
As you find beauty in the brokenness, a new story emerges. A new aspect of you is highlighted and a new script is already being written. And, the new draft will look a bit different for all of us.
…Because I know that the relationship that I have with myself will go through changes just like any other relationship.
The roles that I play in my life today will look a bit different next time around.
And that's okay.
This week’s practice brought me closer to my story and I feel grateful to have such a potent tool (yoga) for becoming my own alchemist.